I don’t know if you have seen this article circulating among your friends on FaceBook or not, but if you dare, give it a read.
I must admit my first response was a face plant.
I think I can understand where this article is coming from: a desire to see Christian Truth (not just morals) shape and transform a young woman’s life rather than Christianity being superficial. I think also there is a genuine concern coming across in the article regarding the centrality of marriage, childrearing, and family in a woman’s life. It’s no secret Satan is seeking destroy not only femininity* and especially there is the attack on family. These concerns are valid, if my assumptions is correct in understanding where this article is coming from.
Yet there are major problems with the article. I also have to admit I felt like retaliating and putting something on Babylon Bee about this (which I’m sure is yet to come) or writing a FaceBook page post along the lines of “Christian women prefer men without any porn use, committed to pursuing and honouring women, and invested in the church.” But I know that response comes out of a slightly (clearing throat) sarcastic heart and chipped shoulder.
These are some of the problems I have with the article:
- Purely double standards. I might be exaggerating here, and I’m arguing from silence, but really is subtly saying these things don’t apply to men? Where’s is the responsibility laid on men to live a pure life? To not have tattoos (not that I’d mind a tattoo, battle scar you know?)? Or to steward money well? What about men that went to university and have debt from their education?
- A bigger issue I have is the concern of grace. So what that a woman is not a virgin as she is now seeking to put her sexuality under the authority of God? So what that a woman has made mistakes in the past but is now pursuing holiness with her whole heart, soul, and mind? I am not disagreeing with Paul here–don’t sin to make grace abound. But this article seems to fail to recognize that women are people too. We’re going to make mistakes. Grace comes in when we sin and make mistakes. God loves us sinners and goes to great lengths to cover nakedness, clean us up, and draw us in. Women, we who have made mistakes in the past, we do not need to live under the shame and guilt that our past seeks to impose on us. It is for freedom Christ has set us free and we are free indeed because of Christ’s wounds and resurrection. Be bold in the freedom of grace. There is no need to hang your head in shame. God transforms the sin in our lives to bring beauty of ashes. Always.
- There seems to be an elevation of the sins of purity, poor money stewardship, …and I’m not sure what category to put a tattoo under. The Westminster Confession of Faith in the larger catechism (Q&A 150 and 151) talk about the reality that not all sins are “equally heinous.” There is gradation to sins. Yet, there are factors that go into this that I won’t get into here. But ultimately before God, every single sin deserves the same punishment: death and eternal condemnation. God delights in a broken and contrite heart and he wipes away all our sins as far as east is from west. We would do good if we would follow God’s gracious example and love those that may sin differently than us. Without grace we create an unsafe place for real people to struggle with real sin and real suffering.
- Along the same lines of grace, is this article talking about real women or fake women? All the women I know of, myself included, sin and fail miserably at keeping God’s commandments. Are guys expecting perfect women? Good luck with that.
- Finally, what I’m concerned this article also may subtly say is that marriage is guaranteed. Well, take me for an example. Yes, I’m only 30 but I’m still single with no guarantee of marriage coming in my life time. I am glad I went to school for nine years and got some debt and bought a house (more debt). Perhaps that comes across as a bit snarky as I’m struggling right now in my singleness. But we also have to steward our money, time, and lives for the glory of God. For some, that will mean going to school. For others, that will mean remaining at home. For some, that will mean leaving their parental home with broken hearts because of abuse or neglect or tense relationships and will seek to make a new path in life. We cannot and never ought to put people in the mold of “do not go to school and stay in your parental home” and say that this is the Christian way of doing life (and I know the article touches on this as well).
- Also along the lines of marriage, I’d like to say that marriage is not the telos (purpose/goal) of life. I think this is a real danger in churches. I think sometimes we push marriage when young people are not ready and do not highlight enough the unique abilities of singleness.
- When I shared this article with a coworker he also came up with the point that this author highlights sociological constructs that are not in par with Biblical authority. In the Biblical times, the only job when had where at home; in fact they were considered property and second class! It was after the industrial revolution that women began to work out of the home. Nancy Pearcy in her excellent book “Total Truth” has a great chapter on this–the dangers that come with this change but also the realty of where we are at today. Just because women work outside the home does not mean they do not value or invest their hearts in the home. Reality is that many women have to work out of the home in order that they, along with their husbands, can send their children to a Christian school. Marriages over the 20th and 21st century have drastically declined and many Godly women find themselves single. The danger is that single women who read The Transformed Wife article may feel pressure to not pursue and embrace ambition in order to utilize their God given gifts and talents.
These are my thoughts on the article and I’d welcome any thoughts that you have!
*I have yet to read “Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist” World by Carolyn McCully or “Accidental Feminist” by Courtney Reissig but I’ve heard good things about these books.